Went to the Dams.....

OK so i never usually write what i get up to and that cos 1) i cannot be bothered 2) non of your fucking business 3) i am usually to screwed up to remember anything, But i went away for my birthday (now officially 21,WHAT!!) and came back with enough memories to last me till i am shivering in my coffin 6foot under.

It started on the evening of 8th October all we had was a pack bag filled with clothes, euros and passport that's it. Thought it would an adventure to NOT book a hotel or any sleeping arrangements at all till we arrived in amsterdam to keep our options open. Ended up sleeping rough for a few days not that we even did any kinda sleeping just sat under a bridge drinking and drinking and drinking when all the cafes closed and to be fair they closed pretty damn late and believe me when i say we discovered the most sickening yet amushing sights ever witnessed from watching a midget live sex show to watching a few tough looking blokes giving it each other like i said sicken yet appalled that i had to watch (feeling sick yet? should i did in the inside) That's enough about the amount of sex shows we watched in the red light district, oh before i get off this topic lets just say i saw holes i never knew that existed and i am 21!!! anyway i got ran over by a bicycle led to me sitting on the floor crying with laughter while the tourists sat there screaming at me in non English accent i have no idea what she was saying i guess it was something like ' you stupid british freak drunk' my tights got even more laddered (don't mind through) anyway we found some grotty brothel/hostel (yes we lefted our stuff in a brothel) thing parked our bags and went to party hard like Andrew W.K and good did we party on i got mistaken for a hooker blame the holey tights, red hair and rotten finger nails and looking lost and alone (i have a habit of walking around drunk and alone) but yeah the poor guy didn't know what to do when @the jayjayman finally found me he had a snuffle with the guy then demanded 20euros of him otherwise he was gonna call the police and say he attacked me the guy give us our 20euros basically he paid for sex but all he got was a guy round his throat, oh the shame. If i ever need to leave London with no job i know where i can get one. Dear friend @tomodudeo did almost get arrested, the police thought he was trying to buy drugs on the street when in fact all he was asking for was a lighter but was making the hand signals of 'wanting a smoke' thought he was asking for weed,it is like mate almost every cafe you can get it legal why the fuck are people gonna buy it on the street. We did spend most of it down the red light with clear signs of 'NO CAMERAS' yet people where still trying to take photos of the girls at night in the windows did watch a group of stag night dudes get chased by some heavy man demanding the camera for taking picture of his girl, if that's your girl why the fuck is she self raping herself in the window. Only been back a few hours so i will add another blog or something laters or never and i have a number of hundreds of emails to mark as 'read' and leave unanswered.

I do hope to go Thu the pile of crap in my room to find my camera lead, i have over a thousand picture on my camera that have been saved up for months. (above picture is not mime) so hopefully i can find it and do a blog purely for photos.

So have i missed anything from the UK (if you dare say X factor i will have sex with an STI person that pass it onto you and spit in your come shake)